#WEGOTTHIS

ü  Smoothie Maker
ü  Soy-Free, Fruit Protein Mix
ü  Apples
ü  Lemons
ü  Spinach/Other Green stuff
ü  Carrot Juice
ü  Blue, black and raspberries
ü  Tilapia/Shrimp/Salmon
ü  Whole Wheat Pasta
ü  An assortment of other healthy eating properties

I’m what you might call a “honeymoon girl”.  That’s a person who gets all set up for a project and basks in the glow of the preparation and then, all of the air just blows out of the balloon. I buy the running shoes, the socks, the Nike© sweat-flicking running clothes, the tennis racket, the golf shoes and matching outfit, the golf clubs, the juicer, the smoothie maker, the vitamins, the treadmill, the elliptical machine, the gym membership…you get it. Ever heard of Freecycle.com? That is where my elliptical machine went and I don’t miss it. I spent enough money on gym memberships to feed a small third world country. The rest of the stuff is either in the closet or hanging on the glorified clothes hanger otherwise called a treadmill. Didn't I see that set of golf clubs out in the garage last spring?

What I’m saying is, I’m all set for Kristie’s Clean Eating Boot Camp challenge. My accountability partner, Erica Jackson and I are on our “honeymoon”. We expect our cleansing “marriage” to last. While I didn’t buy everything on the list, I think I got it right. I’m going to try to stay away from too much dairy and sadly, butter. I don’t plan on eating the eggs (the hormones in chicken feed scare me). I have a vat of lemon, peppermint water in the fridge. You don’t want to know how much all that costs. It’s not easy being green, as Kermit the Frog would say.

This morning for breakfast, I ate a left over cheeseburger, a cup of coffee and a cup of Raisin Bran, just to keep it healthy. No more of that. Tomorrow will come and I will be ready to drink my green smoothie and take a 30 minute walk or move faster than usual somehow.

I'll try to check in everyday. Make sure to comment and share. I'm counting on you to keep me honest. Take the poll. What's holding you back?

#WEGOTTHIS!

I Shall Not Be Moved!

Hi Y’all,

Has it really been over two years? I’ve missed you. Let me start by saying, 2011-2014 was a trip! I survived and I am very thankful to God and my friends and family for pulling me through. That said; remember, this is Breast Cancer Awareness Month! Think Pink! Remind someone you love to schedule a mammogram. Early detection saves lives.

What have I been up to? Just about everything. Ask my friends or check out my Face book page. I finally got off my cancer-free a$$, stopped feeling sorry for myself and got busy livin’…it beats the hell out of the rest of that line from Shawshank Redemption. Don’t blink or you might miss me. I’ve been traveling, involving myself in my community and thinking up new trouble to get into. I’m still editing that book I started 12 years ago. But who’s counting? I’m just happy to be here to polish and fuss over it like a piece of fine china

My closet is still a mess. I won’t even change the picture. It might even be worse, now. I got rid of a crap-load of clothes, purses and shoes. Still, I’m shopping a little too much. But anyone who saw the dress I bought from JC Penney for $2.97, will forgive me that indiscretion. By the way, remember how when this all started, I kept wondering why I couldn’t seem to make friends with the bank? Well, it wasn’t just me. You may have read that the banks have been court ordered to reimburse millions for scheming people out of illegal overdraft fees. Personally, I got a few “C-Notes” back, myself. So see, it wasn’t just me.

But I digress. I’ve been inhaling donuts like they cure cancer. I’m still busting out those New Balance running shoes now and then, trying to keep from having a heart attack (See May 2011). And I still have 20 pounds to lose (who doesn’t?). So, it’s time for something more drastic. Instead of my closet, I’m cleansing my body.  It's time to eat to live, not live to eat. We all know what we need to do.

My friend Kristie Duffy has issued a Clean Eating Boot Camp challenge. I and a few other brave souls have, with great trepidation, accepted (I have to exercise too...boo!). Now, Kristie is the truth...No excuses! So, I don’t want to disappoint her or my colleagues. I’m excited. But, remember when I tried to go vegan (See Jan 2012)? We shall see.  It’s only 3 weeks, right? If you’re on Facebook, check her out, https://www.facebook.com/groups/256921401107513/...if you dare.

Follow along with me. Keep me honest. This should be interesting. Life will always hold a special challenge for me. It always has. For as long as I can remember, it’s always been something. I guess just about everyone can say that. Someone once said, “If we all threw all of our problems up in the air at the same time, you’d still catch yours coming down”. I believe I would. I keep trying and living and bringing people into my world. I’ll try again. I enjoy sharing and hearing what’s going on in your lives. That Zuckerberg kid sure had it right.  

I’m so glad to be back. I’m so glad to be me again, whoever that girl may be now. “…my description cannot fit your tongue, for I have a certain way of being in this world, and I shall not, I shall not be moved”, Maya Angelou.

Vegan? Seriously?!!!!



I Guess I Can Do Anything For 21 Days?

Well, it's a new year! As if you all didn't know that, waiting and considering, reviewing and deciding. Just what will I change? How can I change? What will I do to improve my lot in this life...this year? Last year I did the unthinkable. I quit shopping. My reflections and lessons learned aside, it won't happen again. But this year, I will certainly be a bit more judicious with my time and money. I went shopping for the first time last Sunday, at an outlet mall, no less. I bought a "few" things. I was happy with my restraint and proud of my resourcefulness and my beauuuuuuutiful new Coach bag. And in spite of serious health concerns, I am making every effort to be hopeful and just as judicious about how I nurish my body. As I get older, I certainly regret my fixation with fast food in the past and wonder "just how much trans-fat did I consume over the years". Well, there's nothing I can do about that now, except to try to develop and maintain a heart healthy lifestyle and keep to a healthy weight.

Now, you all know I can get a bit radical with the resolutions and as tradition would have it, I've been decidedly radical again this year. I've given up beer....dun, dun, dun, dunnnnnnnn! The dreaded year long beer abstention is at hand. How WILL I survive? Well, there is wine. An abundance of it. It just so happens that we have an impressive little wine cellar just under the steps leading to the kitchen. Yay! Anyway, since I demolished 2 cases of Great Lakes Christmas Ale and then put quite a hurtin' on the beer reserves of Disney World over New Year's Eve, I figure I can switch up for a while. Besides, if I can give up shopping, I can give up beer for a year. But that's not the major focus of this year's deprivations. This year, as recommended by last month's poll and in keeping with my quest to keep my heart beating for a long, long time, I'm going to try a new heart healthy diet every month. It's as good a resolution as any. I don't smoke, I have a gazillion exercise machines, a gym membership and enough clothes to start a resale shop. So, it sounds like a plan. 

This month, I looked into some variations of the most extreme of diets...the vegan diet. Not vegetarian. Unfortunately, there is a marked difference. To put it plainly, vegans don't consume any animal products, not milk or butter or eggs even. With my aversion to soy, I knew this would be hard, since soy is in literally every margarine product made, but just how difficult has been a surprise. I read the insanity of Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn, author of Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease, completely vegan and excludes any and all oils, even fish and olive oils. Don't get me wrong, the man has saved lives and I respect that but I figured I'd go lighter my first time out. But check it out if you get the nerve, http://www.heartattackproof.com/.

One of my myriad of doctors suggested that I give the 21 Day Vegan Kickstart diet a try. Now, vegan is vegan, but this has a little give. But it's a doozey. Like I said, vegans can get pretty serious. Just check out the debates on any vegan blog. Some vegans won't even wear leather. And I read the most intense albeit banal, discussion recently over whether clams and mussels and other mollusks can feel pain or can process thought for purposes of preserving their own lives. For me, it's not that deep. I just think that I needed to get rid of the hormone based animal meats and fats and eat more fruits and vegetables. I don't care whether clams can think. Vegans don't eat anything with a face or a mother. I've decided mollusks don't have faces or mothers. Whether that's debatable, matters not. Otherwise, I'd starve to death. How boring would whole wheat penne pasta be without any butter? I mean, it's hard enough to get a decent jar of spaghetti sauce that's not full of meat or soy...yes soy. Remember, soy is in EVERYTHING. I've made my own vegetable soup in addition to finding a tolerable canned vegan soup called "Amy's" organic and vegan soups. I'm not making my own spaghetti sauce.

I gotta tell ya. If I thought giving up shopping was angst-ridden. This is even more so. I have to eat to live. I don't have to shop to live. And this diet just might make me lose my mind. I work, I go to doctor's apointments more often than I'd like these days and I have a life to live. Searching the world over for foods devoid of aniumal meats, animal fats, soy, milk, cheese is one task I can do without. What do I put in my coffee? Even non-dairy creamers contain some crap called "sodium casein", a milk derivative. I'm trying to find a plant based "milk" that doesn't repulse me. So far, almond milk makes my coffee smell weird. Funny, but that's a big deal for me. And I've replaced my Atkins protein shakes with a brown rice protein powder that I mix with fruit, almond milk and diet V-8 Splash. Tastes okay...I guess. But this is a lot of drama. Everything has either, milk, wheat, lard, hydrolyzed something or other, soy or eggs. And I mean everything.  Read your labels, folks. If nothing else, you'll get a true sense of what's going into your arteries. Some of which will never come out, and we know what that means. The "Elizabeth, I'm coming to join you, BIG ONE".

So, for the most part, besides adding a few clams to my menu, I've complied with the diet to the letter. And how I'd love a baked potato with real butter instead of olive oil mixed with a dash of butter "flavoring". But for now, it'll do. But can someone explain to me how I gained 4 pounds in one week? What the......????? I'll have to re-assess my menu. Too many carbs maybe. And I do recall treating myself to a few french fries with my falafel. But really? Four pounds! It's been 12 days. I've got 9 days more to go for crying out loud. Can I really do anything for 21 days? Any menu suggestions out there? Log onto the "kickstart" and tell me what you think, http://pcrm.org/kickstarthome/.

Talk soon. Happy New Year. What are your resolutions?



I Must Be Fabulous Too Because...

 

                                           

Merry Pink Christmas and Happy Pink New Year!

What was I thinking? My closet is still a mess. Think about it. If it was in the state you saw it in my first blog and I didn’t buy anything new, why would it change? It stayed the same only with no new additions. Where would I put them? And I never promised to clean it up. That’s what we in the law business call, a “loophole”.

Be that as it may, the point of this exercise was to stem the rolling tide of compulsive “shopping till I drop” and save a few bucks. And I did it. I have enough money to take my family on a trip to Disney World and nary a thread was purchased (I did buy some shirts for my husband and son for Christmas, forgive me but I revised Rule Number 3…Christmas is a legitimate occasion). But that was twelve months later, for crying out loud.

I have to say, it’s been a long year, especially with the unexpected and unwelcome and terrorizing arrival of the big “C”.  But the question is still, what have I learned? What did the most deprived year of my life since the summer I quit drinking teach me (I still can’t answer that question)? I know one thing…stores are hot, but I’ve told you that. And crowded and boring. Yes, boring. Even with Santa Claus popping out of every crevice and peeking around every corner, during the “most wonderful time of the year, I stood stone faced, a heavy sigh on my breath in the middle of every store thinking, “if I don’t get out of here soon, they’re gonna have to carry me out”. Now, I could have done my shopping online, but that would take planning, organization, which I’m still working on…..please refer to post #1). And of course, again, I gave way more than what was on my own wish list. Last year that was one of the catalysts for the shopping hiatus. Besides shopping too much for myself, I bought too much junk for everyone else…And I do mean junk. From the frenzy of JC Penney’s, one gift for my son only had one house slipper in the box. Apparently it was a display.

But I learned, that as it pertains to me and shopping in general, I am more creative, resourceful, disciplined and blessed than I ever knew, some rules are made to be broken, and most importantly, purchases and gifts come in all forms, shapes and colors as long as they’re given with love. They don’t have to come in a particular “size” or from the “Coach” store.

First, I have coordinated, tailored, revitalized, laundered and re-purposed just about every item in my wardrobe. I’ve even learned a few things in the process. Did you know that you can remove a wax stain with a piece of a paper bag and an iron? I know this because I wore a holiday blouse this Christmas Eve that had been in the closet since New Years Eve, 2001. It was waiting for the magic cure I found on the internet. Anyway, remember the 5 reasons why I quit shopping? So true:

1) Grow up and just stop it. Haven't you learned how to coordinate an outfit yet?
2) Save some money. Everything your friend has shouldn't be yours too.
3) Does shopping really mean shopping? Or does it mean drinks and appetizers after work which leads to drunk shopping, which in my opinion is worse than drunk dialing? There are many other forms of entertainment, and dare I say, emotional fulfillment.
4) There really is no "new" or "in" fashion. There is only what is neat, professional and appropriate for the occasion. Think, have those boots and jeans you've worn for the last 3 years been deemed passé'...for anything? At anytime?
5) I KNOW, this year will fly by and the money will be there or at least much better spent. And I will be stronger for it.

Second, I had some fabulous clothes hiding in my closet. Well, fabulous for me. And the money I had previously spent was an investment of sorts, waiting for the “return”. My mom always says, no matter what you ay for something, if you take good care of it, it will last a lifetime.

Third, I must be fabulous too because, I have taken good care of my clothes and friendships and they have lasted and lasted. During this year, my beloved fellow divas, pink ribbon sisters, co-workers and “tight, ride or die girls” have clung to me like glue. And that only comes when the people who love you know that you love them. That’s something you have to work on, cultivate and water like a flower. That’s not to say people don’t do nice things for you out of concern and sincerity, (and good people just do nice things, no matter what, and they were there for me too, in droves) but there were more often than not, the greatest outpourings of friendship, love and concern from the people that know, from me, that I love them and how much their friendship means to me.

I have been kidnapped and held hostage at wineries, showered with clothes to borrow in my new “size”, my family has been fed…well, I can’t count the get well cards I received and my office was painted and re-decorated, just to name a few. And with each gift I received, I became more humble and yet proud of that scared, confused girl who thought she was doomed; doomed to fail at life, family, friendship and living; who is stronger than she thought too and more now than ever, able to accept all of the love, hope and support that anyone can spare. Because they won’t let me not!

I am accomplished, disciplined, hopeful and thankful for all of the blessings (in spite of the pitfalls) that came my way this year. I finished what I started, but in hind sight, I usually do. I forgot that I know how to kick my own self in the butt. I put on my “big girl panties” and I kicked myself in the butt. There were no panicked account transfers, no frantic calls to the bank, no hyperventilating at the thought of a therapeutic new outfit (and if this year didn’t do it nothing will). There is just me, my faith in God and in my fabulous friends, my messy closet, my renewed relationship with the bank and a bit of a crush on the cute little old shoe cobbler.

 “Wardrobe Interrupted”, life interrupted. Faith, hope, love, family, friendship, strength, and that pesky beer addiction….still happily intact! What will the new year bring? Get excited! Happy holidays!

BFF's are "THE TRUTH"

                                                            MY BFF's are the "TRUTH"

Back again and apologizing .....again, for leaving you in the lerch. It's been a while, I'll admit. But if you've been following what little I've been writing, you'll understand. Things are hectic and I am sad and often too pre-occupied to write. I just can't. But today I am motivated. I am thinking of my journey and all of my beloved friends and family who have stood firmly beside me, loving and encouraging me to "fight like a girl" and find some peace inside of this lonely, horrifying bubble.

I've found that shopping was my peace, my solace, my therapy. I could escape my troubles, my worries and woes. I didn't think of anything but how I'd look and feel in my new outfit and/or my new shoes and how I couldn't wait until the next shopping spree, which could be the next week or until payday or even the next day. Or maybe I'd see someone in an outfit I liked and I'd recreate it. Of course it looked better on me :D. Either way, I just wanted to feel better or to forget and shopping did that for me. Then, here comes the big "C" and I'm left without my true passion....shopping. Stressed with no outlet.

 

Stress does strange things to people. For me, even more so than the "juice" (we don't use and "C" words here), it took away my appetite and left me wide awake well into the night. And I thought I was a stress eater, apparently not. So, I'm now sleep deprived and two dress sizes smaller. And I can't even shop online in the wee hours of the night. Isn't that what insomniacs do best? I once bought a mink jacket on ebay for $50.00, so I could've done some real damage in the state I was in. Wardrobe Interrupted....No frikkin' kidding!

 

That aside, what I am most grateful for, however, is the outpouring of gifts from my friends. Now remember, Rule # 1: I can accept gifts of clothing for legitimte occasions only....

I unrepentently broke it but if this isn't a legitimate occasion, I don't know what is. And by the way, I was holding my pants and skirts up with safety pins. And of course, there were my birthday gifts back in August, a very legitimate occassion. My condition preempted our birthday trip to the Bahamas, so my girl's brought the islands to me. Needless to say, I have been showered with dresses and pants and skirts and suits and a Hard Rock Cafe t-shirt. So many that I cannot wear them all (much thanks to Jody, my lawyer, tight-girl and life coach and even her ex-mother-in-law, whom I love, love, love). I even got a ceramic shoe that serves as a wine holder. Have you ever?

The people I love (the people that love me) are "the truth". I have one more session to go with the "juice" (which has been mercifully tolerable) and one month to go in this self imposed mall exile. They have supported me and lifted me up all the way. And soon, I'll have both the energy and the incentive to get back to my old life. The question is, what will I do?

 

Now, I have to admit, I did break Rule # 4: I cannot purchase an item of clothing for anyone else as a gift or gratuity. I say this because, this month I went shopping for my 12th wedding anniversary, for which the gift is silk. So, I bought my husband two matching silk tie and shirt sets. He, unfortunately (and perhaps it's for the best given his fashion impairment) did not buy me any clothes.

 

I literally couldn't get out of that mall fast enough. First, who turned the heat up so high in the mall or was it me and being 50? And second, where are all the silk robes? Do they even make them anymore? It would've been so much easier. Dang! All that matching and pairing and walking around and yes, spending got on my last nerve and I realized that I might just be cured of my shopping addiction. Not to mention my beer addiction (doesn't mix with the "juice" or the big "C").

 

Now, I"ve said I'm stressed and if you can, picture me staring mindlessly at the TV, way into the night, with the remote. But I'm putting my big-girl panties on and getting off my royal duff. My fog is lifting and the ideas are flowing and I'm back to work part-time. I've got stuff to do. I have a law degree and an MBA for crying out loud. There's got to be some extra-curricular enterprise I can sink my teeth into. Might be fun to start a blogtalkradio.com show or sell some natural skin care products. There are a gillion things to do. I can get my butt back to the gym, for starters.

 

But the best thing I can report having done with my savings is that I've booked a New Years Eve trip to Disney World with my family. How 'bout them apples? Next month we're headed to Florida to celebrate life and love and good health. And that's for me.

 

Before I sign off from this ramble, I want to give a belated congratulations to Jen S. She is the proud winner of the Tankini Recipe contest and the recipient of the $25.00 Visa gift card. Here's her recipe. Give it a try. Sounds yummy:

In a pitcher mix 16oz. Club Soda and one packet of Crystal Light (any flavor), add 3oz vodka, 1C white wine and a splash of sprite zero :) Pour over ice and enjoy! Until next month, have a safe and happy holiday. Much love and hope to you all. Pray for peace, yours, mine and the world's. Talk soon.

SOY PISSED OFF!

SOY PISSED OFF!

I know, I know. Long time no see, y'all and I'm sorry. That's all. For the last two months, I've been wallowing in hand wringing and lethargy and I have to say...it's my blog and I can cry if I want to. But I'm done and now I'm just pissed. I jumped out of bed and right onto my high horse.

As the grapevine would have it, I'm now a "pink ribbon sister". That much is entirely true but despite the drama, I DIDN'T BUY A THREAD! Now, how's that for at least a semblance of composure (a few nightgowns for the hospital and a new "unmentionable" but that's it and they don't count). I broke nary a rule and my bank account is off of life support. By the way, thanks to you all for your support.

Now, what has me most distressed is that, for the better part of a year, I've committed myself, instead of spending it on clothes, to spending my hard earned "ducketts", "greenbacks", "cheddar" on soy protein drinks (please recall the diet issues of prior entries). And soy is not cheap. I'd have been better off saving up for a Prada bag. As you probably are aware, soy protein is the new diet "fair haired boy". It is natural, lower in carbs, free from animal fats and reportedly, all around "safer" nutritionally. So I bought it. But could I have almost bought the farm?

Turns out that our boy "soy", its "isoflavanones", "isolates" and "proteins", produces phytoestrogens in the body and for many, dare I say, multitudes of "pink ribbonites" and those predisposed to estrogen positive breast c_ _ _ _ _ _(we don't use the "C" word here), estrogen is no friend. But why don't women know anything about this? And why is soy in EVERY damned THING? I'm a little amused when I hear the little old lady in the Red Hot hot sauce commercial proudly proclaim..."I put that sh*$ on everything". But not so much with the soy. And by the way of a quick disclaimer to the soy industry...KISS MY WALMART RECEIPTS". I ain't Oprah and if you can't tell from the blog, I ain't got no money.

Here's a list of things soy is IN (maybe it would be less exhaustive to list what soy is NOT in). Soy is a food item, an ingredient, an emulsifier and additive and a filler. It can be found in most all commercial breads, cereals and crackers; prepared gravies, broths, sauces and soups; chocolate candy, ice cream, peanut butters; frozen dinners (my beloved Weight Watcher Smart Ones), vegetable oils, margarines and salad dressings. Check out http://www.lpch.org/DiseaseHealthInfo/HealthLibrary/allergy/soy.html. I even found soy in packets of Crystal Light drink mix and both shakers of cinnamon and nutmeg. What was most alarming was my discovery, after picking up a bag of "whole almonds", of the disclaimer, "contains traces of soy". Now what the H E "double hockey sticks" is soy doing in a whole almond???? Thank God it's not in my Corona Light. Then I might have to contact my congressman.

Now I'm no scientist, just ask my 10th grade science teacher. But if everything you reach for on the supermarket shelf contains soy or the infamous "traces of soy", what is safe to eat when the doctor in his infinite wisdom warns, "you might want to stay away from soy"? And where's all the research? Better yet, can we get somebody to talk about it before the "test results"? If you live in the country, every other field is a soybean field. It's cheap to grow and it is kind to the soil. But the super food may just be a super threat. And can you just imagine the power of the soy lobby (all conspiracy theories aside)? Think about it. For instance, who knows about the phytoestrogen issue? Or do most people think it's an urban myth? And does anyone realize that soy is among the top eight foods that account for 90% of allergic reactions to foods? Just sayin'.

I'm not trying to scare anyone and I'm no expert. I just get a little protective when I think about all of the women out there, many of my friends and loved ones, for whom I would give anything to keep out of the "pink ribbon sisterhood". This is a club many women are dying to get into. Check out the facts. In the meantime, next time you go shopping, turn the package around. Let me know what you find. Maybe instead of eating soy, we can wear it (you didn't doubt I'd bring it back around did you). Since we're going green, I'd buy a soy outfit. Soy fabric is the new cotton. Check out www.the-eco-market.com/soy-fabric.html.

Until next time.....soy long.

The Tankini-Garment or Cocktail?

"I got excited about the "tankini" until I realized it's not a drink"...... Maxine (© Hallmark Cards)

Ya gotta love Maxine....the all around, in your face, put it in perspective, crab-ass, love me or bite me, tell it like it is, Hallmark card guru! Who doesn't search out Maxine for a pick me up or a little "less than sage" advice just when we need it? I know I do. And God bless my friends for sending me a Maxine "maxim" at the most perfect times. When I was searching for a topic today, all I had to do was look through my old emails from my closest girlfriends and from each of them, yes each of them, there was a Maxine quote. I love you ladies!

It's June, and to me summer is almost over. It goes by so fast that I can hardly get everything in. There are steak fry's, graduation parties, camping trips, happy hours on the patio...I'm teaching a college course and I even signed up for a motorcycle class in July. And there's the much anticipated 50th birthday cruise. Yep 50!!!! and I'm not ashamed. I'm looking good. And even though I can't be sure that the look of shock and awe on some faces isn't feigned, I'll take what I can get. The gasp, follwed by..."girl, you don't look anywhere near 50" sounds as true as if it came from "the burning bush" on two tablets. and lie or not, this year, I'm taking it to heart. Why not, I don't feel 50, so why should I look 50? The "Lifestyle Lift" is years away, I don't need it...yet. As Maxine would say, "I'd never be young again.....unless it somehow became possible".

At this point, I'm working my fanny off to lose ten more pounds. My main goal is to wear a bikini on the cruise. I have until August and me, Weight Watchers and the Powerhouse Gym have teamed up in a frantic effort to get there. I've seen many a 50 year old in a bikini, some obviously have no friends at all, let alone a best friend, but these days, more often than not, these 50 year olds ain't got nuthin' to be ashamed of. Now, some of them have stretch marks that will make you weep, but hey, they are lines marking the roads traveled, in my eyes. So, booo-yah! In the alternative, there is the profoundly accomodating "tankini", the marraige between the bikini and the tank-top. Say what you will, but if you're brave, you can even show a bit of belly while camouflaging the oh, so stubborn remnants of the dreaded love-handle. I fully intend on showing off both my belly AND my belly ring (well, when I get one).

Now, here's the rub. How do I maneuver that? Remember the rules?! I can't buy anything and I can't accept gift cards but I can accept gifts. My serious "tight-girl", sounding board and life coach, Jody, a lawyer, knows a loop-hole when she sees one and swiftly set out a plan. This is a woman who lives by the rule, "if the shoe fits, buy it in every color". So, we are going shopping. I haven't set foot in a store that sells clothes (besides Wal-Mart) in six months. I'm getting the shakes just thinking about it. And all of my friends are pitching in to buy my gift. Now those are "best friends". They are shopping fiends and would be happy to let me live vicariously through them, if you can call it that, when I'm the recipient. But you know what I mean. I'm so excited. And boy do I need a good shopping trip. I don't think I can be disqualified for that. If so, you can take it up with my lawyer.

My close friends know this month has been busy and hectic for me and I am stressing. They are there. All around me, reaching towards me with their credit cards stretched out in one hand and the other reaching to the sky in prayer and hopes of strength and triumph. But they are pushing me to get what I need done, so I can relax and do what we do best...drink and talk lots of crap. So, they're not letting me give up, pound-wise or motivation-wise. According to another of my tight-girls emails, one of the ten rules to live by is, "when life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it". So, if it's big girl panties or a "tankini" instead of a bikini.....I gotta deal with it. And I'm pretty okay with that rule.

To my sister, all of my sister friends, everyone I love and everyone who loves me, you are all awesome. Now, post a real recipe for a "tankini".....Remember, I'm a vodka drinker. You can use Splenda :)