Tho one who went to South Africa.

Well, it's February, 2011.....I've broken Rule #3 (the one about not buying any item of clothing as a gift for anyone else). But I had a good excuse. I just got back from South Africa. Frekkin' South Africa!!! And I'll tell you what...I didn't buy one single item of new clothing to wear there. I spent two weeks wearing "old" summer clothes. I think I looked awesome. I lost a few pounds last year so I could fit in things most comfortably. I washed. AND ironed. This isn't turning out so badly after all. We stayed at a Holiday Inn for the last week, adjacent to a mall. I was....dare I say, bored with all the shops. I spent my money on every African beer I could find (we'll tackle that addiction in another blog).

So, that brings me to my most heinous crime, rule #3. Now, you must know that my mother is very proud of me, even with my tenuous bank relationship. She says, "don't be running off to Paris and London until you set your feet down home"! Never having left the continent, she is ever more proud that I did. So proud that every resident in her little old lady building was aware of my trip. I can imagine her conversations going something like this; "Hi Claudia", Oh. hi. What are you doing today? Oh nothing. Waiting for my daughter, the one who's going to South Africa, to call. Oh, okay bye." Or...."So, Claudia, where have you been? Oh, I've been out to my daughters house, the one who's going to South Africa."

As a result, I have received orders for "one of those beautiful dresses you are bringing Claudia from South Africa".  Well, how do you refuse? So, I am back, loaded down with wine (South Africa has the most wonderful wineries), key chains, pictures and several of those beautiful dresses from South Africa. Shall I be penalized for that or shouldn't there be a special dispensation for once in a lifetime gifts for little old ladies?

I am standing in front of the Oprah Winfrey school in Henley, South Africa, just outside of Johannesburg. Here is where I proudly display an outfit that is at least three years old. The girls inside wear uniforms. That's it! Everyday, even when they visit home. They have nothing. Most of them come from the townships where poverty is an understatement. Who am I to worry about a new outfit? I'm getting a new outlook!

Why I Will Not Shop For One Year

I have two addictions; beer and shopping. A 6pk of my favorite beer cost me an extra $37.00 in overdraft fees once. That I could live with because that is rare. It's the clothes that have brought me to my bottom. When you think of being overdrawn, you think of those people who live paycheck to paycheck with menial jobs and minimal resources and high debt. I am neither or those. I am educated and make a sizeable income and minimal debt. I have several accounts with monies squirreled away and allocated according to the latest self-help, get rich guru's instruction book in my arsenal of money management tools. So why can't I keep my "mad money" account solvent?

Never-the-less, for the week of this last Christmas I found myself moving and shaking, transferring funds from account to account, analyzing credits and debits online with the skill of a Wall Street banker. Well, obviously not. It was to no avail. Why didn't I know that Christmas was coming? Where did that money go? I'm just so tired of wondering? That's just dumb because I know where it is. It's in my closet. The closet from which my husband has divorced me almost ten years ago.

I'm ashamed to admit that there are many items in my closet that I've worn once, once. You might spot one of them in the pile... on the floor. And many more items that I've never worn at all. My closet is a monument to laziness and excess. There are designer handbags, among them, Kate Spade, Coach and Prada, scarves, ugly Christmas sweaters, bridesmaids dresses, New Years Eve and Valentines Day gowns (in varying sizes), robes, sweatshirts, jeans (in varying sizes), sexy club-hopping outfits (also in varying sizes) and at last count, well over 150 pairs of shoes, boots and sandals. And while it all just sits there on/off hangers, on the floor, hanging over shelves and out of hampers, it is starting to have a effect on both my self-esteem and my wallet. I wonder what I'd save in my "mad money" account if I stopped.

With all due respect to my fairer skinned shop (beer) aholics, no proud, educated, self-respecting, African-American sista' in this day and in this economy, should be demanding that a bank teller explain the insane mathematics of overdraft fees, while also exercising the futility of begging her to take at least something off. We are well beyond that. I am unapologetic about that and my comments end there. Black, white blue, green or purple, I am 50 and enough is enough.

Here are my 5 reasons for not shopping this year 
1) Grow up and just stop it. Haven't you learned how to coordinate an outfit yet?
2) Save some money. Everything your friend has shouldn't be yours too.
3) Does shopping really mean shopping? Or does it mean drinks and appetizers after work which leads to drunk shopping, which in my opinion is worse than drunk dialing? There are many other forms of entertainment, and dare I say, emotional fulfillment.
4) There really is no "new" or "in" fashion. There is only what is neat, professional and appropriate for the occasion. Think, have those boots and jeans you've worn for the last 3 years been deemed passe'...for anything? At anytime?
5) I KNOW, this year will fly by and the money will be there or at least much better spent. And I will be stronger for it.

The Rules
1) I can accept gifts of clothing for legitimate occasions only. No gift cards.
2) I can shop for hosiery and undergarments (including "foundation" garments).
3) I cannot purchase an item of clothing for anyone else as a gift or gratuity.
4) Clothing shall include all accessories, shoes and handbags (with the exception of sunglasses or luggage)
5) I may sew my own clothing items (like that will ever happen).

We shall see......... Wish me luck!;